True Swing Golf DS Review
When it comes to eating nachos, the Senor loves combining those tasty, brittle chips with some mango salsa because it's the perfect combination of sweet and spicy, orange and yellow, and whole bunch of other crap that would make this sentence better than it is. But Nintendo's True Swing Golf is no mango salsa. I mean, it's decent enough, but it's also green and brown, boring and bland, and overshadowed by all of the Mario Golf titles. In short, it's lame, but that doesn't mean that it's a bad game per se. Rather, it's for all you meat and potato lovers out there. You know, all you boring people.
Most reviewers are going to tell you that the reason why this game's meh is because there aren't enough options, the character models look a little mutated, and the touch screen controls aren't all that enjoyable, to which I say, they're right, sort of. It's true that the items that you can purchase to customize your character suck because there's nothing particularly thrilling about them and the character models blow the big taquito, but the swing control is actually the game's best feature and makes it worth playing. Hell, if Nintendo sends you a free copy like it did to the Senor, then sure, keep it, but we both know that's not going to happen.
The whole concept behind this game is to touch a golf club icon on the bottom screen and quickly flick it to the top, and as you do this your character on the top screen will swing the club back and let her rip. It does take some time getting used to, and if your hand slips, well, you're screwed, but it's actually a very enjoyable system that works well enough that you'll be able to achieve great results on the game's 15 plus 3D courses. And the game helps you out by providing you with wind speed as well as a small collection of icons that allow you to change up your clubs and get better angles. So as far as the touch screen implementation, mango salsa all the way.
Unfortunately, the praise stops there. While I can sit on my couch and play True Swing for an hour and change, I'm well aware that I'm really wasting my life and should instead hit the bar and woo some hot senoritas. I'm just friggin' bored with this game's presentation because all I can do is play golf...and more golf...and more golf, and many of the courses look the same, and...yeah! That really sucks! Where are the mini games? Where's the personality? Oh, and where the hell's Mario? Why the fcuk (see what I did there?) would Nintendo bother to publish a golf title on its DS that's not an extension of the Mario Golf series which has sold thousands upon thousands of copies? I mean damn, it just released Mario Tennis for the GBA, so what the hell happened here? This would have been such a better product if it was a Mario Golf sequel that included Mushroom Kingdom courses and tons of challenges. But instead, I'm putting with some no name golfer that's obviously suffered some brain damage by the looks of her face. It just doesn't make any sense.
Getting back onto the happy train, True Swing Golf does have a multiplayer mode and up to four people can play using a single cart, except the options in single cart play are even more limited than the game in general, so if you want the full experience you and your friends need to own a copy.
Had the developers added some much needed personality, True Swing Golf could have easily received a 4/5 and been on par with mango salsa, but instead it's a about as monotonous as watching actual golf on TV. But it's still a good game and worth buying if you own a DS and absolutely love this "sport", yet all I can think about are Hot Shots on PSP and Mario Golf on the GBA. Now those are two games that I'd spoon onto a tostada chip, and you know what...I'd eat'em! Ole!
What's Hot: Swinging the club with the touch screen.
What's Not: True Swing's total lack of personality.