Pocket Pool PSP Review

It seems like a decent concept, right? Mix a pool game with a bunch of hot women in their underwear and you can't really lose. Granted, naked women would be better, but they can't push their luck that far, especially with the lack of a Girls Gone Wild license. Anyone remember how The Guy Game ended up? But anyway, Pocket Pool tries to blend two of men's most irresistible infatuations -- women and pool -- together in one easy on-the-go game, reasonably priced for $30. But does it work?

Well, not really. Despite the best efforts of Conspiracy Entertainment to make the game accessible (and more importantly, "hot"), it just doesn't cut the mustard in the long run. The pool's rather easy to get into, with a power meter that's easy to adjust and aiming that comes off like it would in a natural game of pool. The player can even change between different tables and ball sets, some of which become unlocked over the course of the game. Of course, a man might feel the need to map his pool table with a hot brunette in bra and panties, so the option is available.

Unfortunately, the game of pool itself seems pretty shallow. Despite the offering of different variations of games (including the likable Blackjack), it just seems to come up short in too many directions. The ball physics are floaty for one, forcing the ball to roll either too much (into a pocket) or not enough (to make contact with a target ball). Worse yet, the AI-fueled opponent can be off the charts. Sometimes they'll go for a basic shot to keep their drive going, and at other times they hit a shot so outlandish that they would be laughed out of the bar if they attempted such a shot in real life. We're talking about a five-rail bank shot when a simple straight-in approach would've been the better bet.

It doesn't help that the opponents (and your player) are represented by lame male stereotypes. You've got the Southern guy ("Man, are you bad"), the surfer dude ("Whoa!") and the other college wanna-bes that probably couldn't get some if they had appeal. Having your player (and their opponents) represented by such lame figures makes the game a pain to sit through. It would've been better to replace said opponents with the hot women featured in the game. At least that way the drive would've been going in a better direction, and their taunts would be worth hearing. Anything has to be better than common insults about the game with each and every turn from these dorks.

The game does support two-player Wi-Fi games (if you can find a buddy that has a copy of the game), but even then you'll run into its frustrating camera problems. How hard is it to have a manipulative camera system where you can go from behind-the-ball view to overhead ball view without having to hit the button six or seven times? The graphics otherwise get the job done, but the lack of a simple camera system make this game a headache. As players proceed through it, they can unlock pictures and videos of a few hot models...and yes, they are hot. However, their galleries seem too limited, and it's only a matter of time before you see all that the game has to offer. Then it's back to the bar or strip club or bikini car washes for your fix.

Pocket Pool might be worth a look if you're up for a portable pool game or you just want to ogle at some honeys without having to strike up a conversation or lose too much cash. However, it has way too many problems to give it a full recommendation. Just rent it, get the eye-popping out of your system, return it and go about your typical gaming life.

What's Hot: Decent playing game of pool, different game variations; hotties.

What's Not: Questionable ball physics and AI actions; camera problems galore; horrible "dude speak"; not enough of the hotties.

2/5