Retro Atari Classics (DS) Review

You know what I have a real problem with? Well, okay, besides learning to control my money and trying to find a car that works without making some kind of grinding noise on the freeway. No, my problem lies with game developers who try to reinvent a classic game for the contemporary gaming market. To be honest, nothing's wrong with the classic game to begin with, so why bother trying to touch it up? Now, if it's a developer who knows what they're doing, like Paradigm with Spy Hunter, then that's understood. But I'm talking about such misfires as Defender, a game that had no valid point for existence. Or what about the old PlayStation game Centipede, which bordered on damn near unplayable? And don't even get me started on the Frogger series. I still have no idea what Konami's been smoking in that particular brand.

Now we come to a game that tries to offer the casual gamer the best of both worlds- the classic gameplay of yesteryear with some modern-day touches to try and jazz up the product. Retro Atari Classics features ten games from Atari's yesteryear days, ranging from memorable classics like Asteroids and Centipede to long-lost titles like Lunar Lander and Warlords. All ten of these games can be played in two different modes- either the original classic mode that they're remembered for, or a "remix" mode where Atari has called upon popular graffitti artists to try and give the games a touched-up, attitude-laden look.

Needless to say, I feel the idea failed somewhere along the way in its execution. Retro Atari Classics falls short in so many areas just because it tries to live up to the essence of style. That angers me a bit, because what we could have had here is a game of the same caliber as the fun Atari Anniversary Advance for Game Boy Advance. But that was handled by Digital Eclipse, and this game's handled by a company called Taniko. Ahh, yes, development shift- that always works, right?

My first problem with the game is that the emulation of the classic games is in need of some work in a few departments. Missile Command borders almost unplayable because it uses both screens to show where the missiles are coming in, but you can only use the touch screen to blast them as they come too close to call towards the cities you're trying to protect. And then you have Tempest, a game that looks the part good enough until you complete a level, and then your cursor is simply sucked into a vortex instead of speeding through the universe, like the old arcade game did. I can understand if Taniko's a newcomer, but COME ON. How hard can it be to put together an emulation for a handheld?

Secondly, there's the "remix" mode, consisting of jazzed-up artwork featuring some mushy-headed tomato character expressing himself and freaky graphic designs. For instance, Asteroids uselessly possesses parts of granite and steel in the place of the old rocks, and the screen is so distractingly bright, the game simply cannot be played. Not in this mode, anyway. Atari should've trashed this idea and instead focused on something like packing in more games.

And that leads us to problem number three- game selection. The likes of Tempest, Asteroids, Pong, Warlords, and Centipede are nice to see, but who in their right minds is going to have hours of fun with something unplayable like Gravitar and as lame as Lunar Lander? I can't remember the last time I ran into a friend and he asked if I wanted to go competitive landing. I just can't recall. Atari could've easily packed 20 games in here, like they did with the Atari Anthology for the Xbox and PS2, but not to be. The package comes up short with only the ten games- and not even the ability to tweak options like difficulty and lives. What the hell?

That's not to say the package is a total waste. Most of the games (aside from Missile Command) utilize good control, either with the touch screen or the control pad and buttons (except for Tempest- touch screen only, although it still works okay), and the interface is rather simple, even if it's linking up against friends in some multiplayer rounds of Pong and Warlords. Bummer that Atari couldn't have figured out how to allow multiple players to play with one cartridge, though. Once again, rushed development brings the spoils.

I'm a huge retro fan, and it disappoints me to see something with a good idea from the past ruined by so many little things. Retro Atari Classics could have easily been a must-have for the gamers out there, but, as is, will probably only attract the eclectic few who want to see something from the past, but not completely leaving out the present. I guess I have to rely on Namco Museum for the PSP for my current old-school generation kicks.