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Love/Hate: Elite Beat Agents
Written by Aaron Vaughn on Thursday, February 7, 2008
Ouendan? TOTALLY AWESOME. Elite Beat Agents? Still cool, but decidedly lower on the awesomo-scale. Modojo's Aaron Vaughn examines why in this week's Love/Hate...
Love: The beats
As in the gameplay, Elite Beat Agents' markers became a totally cool way to groove to music. As a fan of rhythm games I was a bit skeptical at tapping on a screen to the beat of music, but the structure of each level has enough action to keep things both active and entertaining. It's a very interactive way to play a music game, and a welcome departure from the standard notes on a line which most rhythm games rely on.
Hate: Touch-Screen Abuse
If there was ever a DS title that warranted a screen protector, it's got to be Elite Beat Agents. Stages on the "Hard ROCK!" mode are the guiltiest party as they demand such quick and unforgiving action on the screen that you'll have scratches on it in no time. When it comes down to saving the day while you rock out or being kind to your screen, obviously you'll have to save the pleasantries for later. And of course there's the spinner at each episode's conclusion; you'll have nightmares just thinking about how a naked touch screen would fare against those odds.
Love: Digital Comics
Babies doubling as footballs? A forest of animals blowing a rainy day out of the sky? Why, it's almost as preposterous as a race of music-hating aliens coming down to Earth to be met by the resistance of three groovy dudes in suits! The story in Elite Beat Agents may not be a serious one, but the comic-book style in which each episode plays out in the top screen definitely adds character. Wisely implemented to give players a break while moving forward in the bite-sized plots, EBA certainly has some memorable moments. Why, you may even be touched by one or two.
Hate: The music
Only redeemed by a few select artists (Rolling Stones/Queen say hi), it's hard to like any of the fully-licensed soundtrack. What's worse is that all the tracks are covers, making a David Bowie song sound more like an upbeat Johnny Cash tune. Although I haven't played any of the Japanese Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan series, nearly anyone with taste would be hard-pressed to say they've got a worse tracklist than EBA. Just because I S-rank a Good Charlotte track on the first run doesn't mean the song was any better when it was overplayed on the radio.
Love: The Difficulty
Rhythm games seem to be either going out of style or whittling even deeper into their little niche, but whatever the case is they've certainly become mainstream. Tenants of Rock Band and Guitar Hero may cry foul, but pick up any version of Taiko Drum Master or PaRappa and you don't have as much of a challenge on your hands. Perhaps it's got to do with EBA's unique play style, but some of the more demanding levels will have players discussing actual techniques for nailing all the marks on cue. The term "Touch Generations" finally doesn't imply a walk in the park.
Hate: Headphones Don't Improve the Sound
Not necessarily a game fault, the DS isn't the first portable device many would turn to as an MP3 player. It's a shame that the hardware limited a music/rhythm game the way it has. Here's to hoping that compression either steps up to bat next round or that any sequel we see is on a console.
Love: The Agents
I want you to seriously consider for a second what it would be like to have a job where you wake up every morning, dress like a Blues Brother, style your hair as fashionably as possible, and work for an agency run in the style of Charlie's Angels. Now think about what it must be like for that job to be grooving as hard as you can on the sideline of someone's bad day in order to solve all their problems. If you're not considering a tie and microphone as part of tomorrow's wardrobe, then there's something wrong with you.
Hate: The Rhombulans
Maybe we actually can't blame them for hating music so much; the Agents haven't shown any exemplary taste in their tracklist up to now. Still, if there's a gang of aliens trying to rid the planet of music then they've got to be stopped. After all, Justice and Andres Segovia play music, too. Now wouldn't it just be awful if we saw the end of Lupe Fiasco just because some geometric space nerds didn't like the way his beats sounded? Well, that's why the Elite Beat Agents assemble: to stand for everything the Rhombulans hate.
